Tuesday, June 9, 2009 at 01:33PM This photo captures everything I love about Wil...his sparkling blues eyes; his porcelain skin; his rosy cheeks, his thoughtful mind and above all; his gentle nature. Oh how I love this boy!
Monday, June 1, 2009 at 11:14AM 
Sadly, we had to lay Riley to rest this morning. He had been slowing down for months, but simply unraveled over the last five days. Aside from not eating or drinking or even being able to stand, he was just not himself. Early this morning, we all said our weepy good byes and then placed him in the truck. This is a picture of the boys petting Riley for the last time. Before leaving for school, they explained to him a bit about heaven and who would take care of him there. Hope Great Grandma wanted a dog!
At Hudson Highlands, Dr. Spacarelli met us at the car and took great care to walk us through our difficult decision. He and the entire staff have always been extremely compassionate to our family, but this morning, when it couldn't have counted more, they showed us the greatest of comfort, assurance and understanding. We spent sometime alone with Riley, saying our final good byes. When it was time, John and I wrapped our arms around Riley until he passed. It was deeply sad.
We left the vet heartbroken and have spent the morning crying and remembering, but taking great solace in the wonderful life that we provided for Riley and the unconditional love he showed all of us. Riley was my first dog. I credit him with teaching me many things about life, here are just a few examples...
To be a mom...Yup, this pup gave me the A to Zs on motherhood long before Ty and Wil came into our lives! From cleaning up "accidents" to midnight feedings to baths—Riley taught me how to care for someone who can't care for themselves.
To be more laid back...In the early days, I would literally follow Riley around with a dishrag over my shoulder, wiping the long strings of drool that hung from his jowls. I was determined to keep the house tidy even with a slobbering, shedding dog amongst us. After a few years of that insanity, I finally gave up or should I say, gave in. Riley taught this Type-A girl the beauty of a lived-in house.
To sleep on 6 inches of mattress...Fine, we admit it! Riley (our once 180 lbs English Mastiff) slept between John and I for the first two years of us his life! Sure, it was ridiculously uncomfortable; and we went through 5 or 6 comforters; and our sheets were embarrassingly dirty, but we wouldn't have had it any other way. For me and John, listening to Riley breathe was hypnotic. Rest assured, Riley eventually got moved into his own room (yes, really) and further downgraded to a 6 foot dog bed (unfair, I know) once the kids came along.
To take joy in another's comfort...Nothing made us happier than to see Riley rolling around in the sunshine in our backyard or running after a ball at the park with his jowls flapping in the wind! As with all dogs, his happiness came from the simple things. Guess, the only difference with Riley is that due to his seemingly endless health issues (bad hips and knees and multiple surgeries), we were grateful for the healthy, happy days in between.
I could go on, but then you might stop reading, so I'll end with this...Riley was a gentle old soul from the day he was born till the day he died. We thank all of you who loved and appreciated him. He was a good dog indeed.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.
Angela
Sunday, May 10, 2009 at 07:35PM 
Today was my sixth time celebrating Mother's Day as a Mom and I have to admit I'm still not entirely comfortable with the idea. Maybe it's all those years of honoring my own mother on this day; knowing the size shoes she wore and the fact that I'll never fill such a tremendous pair. Or maybe it's the way I came to motherhood (through adoption) and the fact that being a mom feels more like a privilege than something I should be honored for.
Who knows?
I suppose someday I'll feel like I've earned my maternal wings and sit back and gladly accept the accolades associated with this day, but for now I think I'll just propose a slight adjustment to it's name. So, to all the moms out there that I know and love, I'd like to wish you all a very happy HAPPY just to be a MOM DAY! When you kiss your little ones good night this evening, I hope you'll thank them for the opportunity to hold one of the most privileged positions in the world!
“No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother's love.” —Edwin Chapin
Monday, May 4, 2009 at 09:41PM 
Nothing seems to say hero to a little boy more than those who work in dangerous, dirty or demanding jobs! My boys rarely excite at the thought of playing lawyer, doctor or accountant, but they delight at the opportunity to be firemen, construction workers, soldiers and garbage men. These working class heroes represent what it means to be a man in the eyes of a little boy. Maybe it's the lure of using their bodies in addition to their minds, or the idea of wearing a special uniform, or maybe it's quite simply the big trucks! Whatever it is, it comes as no surprise that for the last few years (and probably for a few years to come) my boys want these superheroes at the center of their special days.
For Ty's 5th birthday it was the classic fireman, but for Wil's 4th he decided on something a bit less traditional and asked that the garbage man pay us a special visit!
Monday, February 23, 2009 at 07:42PM 
Hard to believe that Ty just turned five, but here's the proof! Of course, he still has the same big brown eyes, same delicious dimple and same vibrant smile. Same infectious laugh, pitiful pout and steaming temper. And best of all, the same wonderful sense of humor. He may be young, but Ty has already carved out his niche in our family—the role of entertainer. Ty knows how to make people laugh; especially those closest to him. Whether he's telling a story or a joke, acting out a favorite movie scene, break-dancing or belting out a song—Ty knows how to bring a smile to our faces.
Ty will be starting school this September and I can almost hear the teacher calling to ask for our first parent-teacher conference. Class clown, perhaps? Come what may, he's the apple of our eye and we couldn't be more proud of our triple threat!
Thank you, Ty, for making me belly laugh every day. You are pure joy and I love you! Happy birthday!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 05:17PM No wonder our boys think that every day with Daddy is an adventure! Today they woke up (as you can see they are still in pajamas), were handed REAL hammers and told to knock down a wall in our playroom! John (as he often does) decided that our playroom needed updating, so without notice he and the boys jumped in! After a long day of demolition, the boys were both in bed by 7:00 pm—that's early for my night owls! I wish I could find a wall for them to knock down every day! More pictures to come after the renovations are complete, but with a top-notch crew like this on the scene, I'm assured the highest quality workmanship!
Sunday, January 25, 2009 at 03:32PM 
It's no secret that Wil's favorite color is purple! From lollipops to crayons, purple is always his first choice. He's simply passionate about purple! Right before Christmas he decided that he needed purple underwear. Knowing that Mema will go to the ends of the earth for him, he submitted his request to her. It came as no surprise that boys underwear was not readily available in purple, but not wanting to disappoint Wil, she purchased white underwear and a box of dye and went to work. The result was a one-of-a-kind pair of perfectly purple underoos for my perfectly passionate one-of-a-kind boy!
Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 07:58PM Isn't is it funny how as parents we can't wait to be done with the sleepless nights, diapers, bottles and laundry associated with that tiring baby stage? Until at last, we are. And then, all at once we find ourselves nostalgic—wishing we didn't wish it all away.
Although Wil potty trained several months ago, I couldn't bring myself to throw out the single diaper pictured here. Removing it would mean closing the final chapter of Ty and Wil's babyhood, but with Ty's 5th birthday around the corner and Wil's 4th coming up in April, it was undeniably time to let go. So, with much ado, I tossed the unused diaper into the trash today. It's estimated that the average baby uses 6000 diapers in a lifetime, so isn't it ironic that after 12,000 dirty diapers, this perfectly clean diaper was the hardest one to throw out?
With it all behind me now, I get teary-eyed thinking about folding warm-out-of-the dryer onsies; the refrigerator doors filled with fresh bottles of formula; the baby powder smell of the stacked diapers and the gratification of rocking my newborn babies back to their peaceful rest in the wee hours of the morning. It was so much work, but I wouldn't have traded the experience for anything.
I've heard it said that parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love. Ain't that the truth.
Sunday, January 18, 2009 at 11:10AM 
After several barbershop visits ending in tears, Pop bought a pair of clippers and opened for business! His only two clients are Ty and Wil, but they keep him plenty busy! The boys still shed a few tears, mainly at the end when they are getting tired, but overall it's an event that everyone looks forward to. Each haircut comes with a complimentary bath from Grandma and a homemade cookie! The boys tip well with hugs and kisses and the all important high-five. Pop probably won't get rich with his little side business, but I imagine it makes him feel like a million bucks being able to make childhood memories trimming these little noggins!
Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 10:37AM Ella, Jack, Ty and Wil celebrate the incoming new year in pajama style!
Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 10:20PM 
At every age and every stage, I think to myself it can't get any better than this! And, then it does! It took me a while to figure it out, but I now realize that whatever age my boys are at is my favorite. And, this winter has been no exception. Ty and Wil, at ages four and three respectively, have enjoyed all the wonder that winter and the Christmas season brings. From the early snowfall to the expectation of Santa Claus, their joy has brightened each and every day.
I think the thing I love most is that they are beginning to have an expectation as to what comes next. On the way home from trick or treating at the Meyer's on October 31st, I remember Wil asking, "So, what's next?" and Ty answering, "Thanksgiving. Right, Mommy?" And, a few days before Thanksgiving, they asked how many days till Santa Claus comes? When can we go sleigh riding? The following week, as we were on our way home from getting the Christmas tree Ty pointed out that everyone else in our neighborhood had their Christmas lights up except for us. And, Wil chimed in with the fact that we hadn't yet written letters to Santa. They don't miss a trick!
In fact, our children have a big hand in creating the traditions we celebrate as a family. They add life to the traditions of the past, but they discover new ones for themselves. I remember last year, Ty asked for a Gingerbread House Decorating Kit that we saw while shopping one day. I bought it, we had a blast decorating it and presto a tradition was born! It takes a lot of pressure off me knowing that we're in this together; that we can make it up as we go!
Christmas has now come and gone and we'll soon be packing up all of the expectations and traditions in a sturdy box and begin preparing for what's next...Ty's fifth birthday in February followed by Wil's fourth in April. I have a feeling I'm going to just love this next stage!!!
Monday, November 17, 2008 at 07:39PM 
On Monday, September 15, 2008 we sadly lost Great Grandma. Mary Fulton died at age 90 from natural causes in her own home. She was the last of the Great Grandparents to pass, but the only one that my boys are likely to remember because of their young age.
Great Grandma was an amazing lady by anyone's account. She was a soft-spoken, gentle and graceful soul who we were all sad to see leave the earth, but knowing the beautiful, long life she lived made her passing a little easier.
Ty and Wil attended the services for Great Grandma, and much to my own surprise they took it all in stride. They were appropriately sad, but their grief was offset by their curiosity over the new experience. The questions were unending, but John and I were able to answer most of them with confidence. Keeping it simple and heartfelt was our strategy.
This is a picture of Great Grandma with her only son and three grandsons surrounding her. Expecting that this would most likely be her last time joining us on the family vacation, moments before we departed the beach house we all gathered in the family room to honor her as a family. We sang happy birthday (she'd be celebrating her 90th a few weeks later), we held hands and prayed over her. It was a special moment in that it offered peace and closure for even the littlest members of our family.
Ty and Wil still ask frequently about Great Grandma. They ask if we think she's happy in heaven and if she misses them. Since I know both are true, I always answer with a resounding YES! During Great Grandma's last years she made and gifted each child, grandchild and great grandchild with a crocheted afghan. Ty's blanket has blue stripes and lies neatly at the base of his bed. After we buried Grandma the weather turned cooler and I was able to start covering him up with the thick afghan. As I tuck him in, I always remind him that this is Great Grandma's way of watching over him. As he closes his eyes peacefully I can see how comforted he is by her continued presence in his life.
Saturday, November 15, 2008 at 09:07PM 
Can you believe that this is the same little boy who was BEGGING us to play soccer for the last year? No, he's not benched, just a case of stage fright—field fright—perhaps.
He was having a lot of fun right up until game day: going out with Daddy to purchase all of his equipment; walking the field for the first time; receiving his uniform; the first practice...all great! But, when that whistle blew to commence the first game, Ty turned around and ran right off the field, sat down and wouldn't budge!
John who was the acting coach was confused! "Hey, Ty! Where are you going? Wrong way, buddy!"
There was no turning back—not that day, nor any day until the close of the season. He participated in every practice and was actually very good, but he wanted nothing to do with playing an actual game.
We're not completely sure why he felt the way he did, but we let it go. Hopefully, next year, he'll be more inclined to get out there and show off his skills. Although, just yesterday he told me I could sell his cleats, so maybe not!
Baseball, anyone?
Friday, September 12, 2008 at 09:37PM 
My job has brought me to New York City more often than usual in the last few months. Each time I'd go, Ty would ask what it's like in the "big city" and if he could come with me. So, after several months of him asking I finally found a light day to bring him along. We had so much fun!
All of the things that I normally find routine were suddenly infused with childlike excitement and curiosity. From the train ride, to the cab, to the sidewalk hot dog—everything held new meaning. Seeing the city through Ty's eyes was an unexpected and wonderful experience for me.
Most exciting of all though was our (2 hour) stop at FAO Schwarz. Ty was in utter amazement at the size of the store and the endless aisles of toys. His jaw dropped when we came upon the truck section. He knew he was being treated to a new toy and spotted his pick immediately. It was the New York City garbage truck pictured below—a bargain at $55.00! We (I) carried that enormous red bag throughout the streets of NYC for the rest of the day. I can't say it was the best part of my day (especially when it started to pour 10 blocks from Grand Central with no cabs in sight!), but the happiness in Ty's heart was worth every grueling step!
Friday, September 5, 2008 at 09:46PM 
Today was Wil's first day at preschool and as expected he LOVED it! Wil—like his Uncle Joe—is a born student! We knew this from the start and continue to marvel at his thirst for learning. He is driven to understand the world around him, so much so that he often has a hard time falling asleep. He simply can't shut down his brain long enough to close his eyes. I watch him lay in bed at night counting the stripes on his blankets, reciting his ABC's or examining his fingers. I've actually said to him, "Stop thinking and go to sleep!"
Upon delivering Wil to his classroom, he needed no introduction; he jumped right in! I suppose this is mainly due to him being familiar with big brother Ty's routine, but also because this boy was meant for school. Miss Danielle, Wil's teacher, said he was a breath of fresh air! Wil's asks tons of questions and invites the opportunity to learn something new at every turn—a teacher's dream I imagine!
I hope that Wil's love affair with learning will last a lifetime. Maybe he'll bring it as far as Uncle Joe and become a surgeon! In any event, I know he'll have fun getting to wherever he's going!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 at 07:59PM 
Yup, in a highly unanticipated move this momma gotta tattoo!
Although, unexpected, I can assure you that I did not enter into the decision lightly or without plenty of forethought. Ever since I adopted my sons, I've been struggling for a way to express how the experience has changed me. Much of the writing I do in this blog has helped me to articulate the profound affect my boys have had on my life, but even my own words have not seemed like enough at times.
Mothers who give birth to their children usually have stretch marks, incision scars or their bodies have simply changed in some way. And although they might find their battle scars unsightly, they are symbolic of the lives they have brought into this world. Adoptive mothers have scars, too, but they wear them on their hearts. And, although I have my fair share of those, I am an artist who is very visual. For me, seeing is believing or in this case, remembering.
The intertwined "heart & triangle" are the international symbol for adoption. The "heart" represents the love that must be present for an adoption to take place and the three points of the "triangle" represent the birth parents; the adoptive parents and the adopted children. I added the "butterfly" as a way of honoring my boys' birth mother, Amy. I think of her as a free spirit, who gracefully floated into our lives, leaving behind two little miracles. Without Amy, I would never have had the opportunity to become a mother and for this I am eternally grateful. I hope in some small way, this gives her an idea of how much she is a part of me.
[Special thanks...To my friend Megan Gibson for the moral support during my appointment and for the margaritas afterwards! Tattoos hurt—don't let anyone tell you different! To my friend Deanna Ryan who took the photo of the tattoo with Ty's hands on each side. And, to my friend Carrie Schaetzke who helped me bring my concept to fruition in Adobe Illustrator. The tattoo was inked by Michele Myles of Daredevil Tattoo, New York City, New York.]
Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 02:12PM 
Just before bed each night Ty has a little crying spell—we call it his bedtime blues. The crying has nothing to do with having to go to sleep, it's more like a tiny bout of depression he goes through as he recounts the things he'll miss from that day. Most of the time it's Mema that he cries about. He tells us how he misses her and how he simply can't wait all night long to see her again. We remind him of the fun they had that day and that like the promise of the sunrise, she will come again.
Other nights, Mema is replaced by a fictional character from a movie we've seen that day like E.T. the Extra Terrestrial or Wall-e. He genuinely cares about the characters in the movies we watch. He wonders if E.T. will get home okay or if he'll come back someday to visit.
And yet, other nights, his sadness is spent on someone or something new that brought meaning to his day. Tonight it was the fireflies. After we spent an hour in the yard catching the little buggers, it was time to release them back into the summer air. I had wrongly assumed that Ty was aware that we wouldn't keep them forever. His face lost all expression when I exclaimed, "Okay boys—now take the lids off and let 'em go"! As heartbroken as he was he understood. So, with tears streaming down his face he popped off the lid and shook his plastic cup. As each glowing firefly flew into the darkness he asked if they would remember him.
I answered, "How could they forget? They just met the most amazing, sensitive little boy on earth. They'll never forget you, Ty."
Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 04:44PM We wearily returned home from the Outer Banks of North Carolina at 4:00 this morning. Even after a nine hour drive—too and from—we were disappointed at the realization that this year's vacation was once again behind us.
Anyone who knows me knows that I hate this drive (even if I do sleep the entire time while my dutiful husband does all of the work), and yet it's been the highlight of every summer for the past eight years. I guess you could say that like all vacations: it gives us the opportunity to spend quality time with our children and each other, and simply breathe in the fresh ocean air. But for anyone who's been lucky enough to share in this week with us, you know that there's a little more to it than just that.
The week has been described by John's parents as heaven on earth. And, although I can't tell you exactly why, I think it has something to do with chemistry. This is a family who, in addition to loving each other, really likes each other. Starting with the children, who range from three to eight years old, and play together famously; to the the brothers who truly appreciate and respect each other; to the sisters-in-laws who genuinely share a deep and meaningful friendship—there is nothing forced about this family coming together under one roof. Understandably, my mother and father-in-law take great pride in the way that their children and grandchildren interact and love each other—so much so, that that they give this week to all of us as a Christmas gift year-after-year. This year, we were joined by the Hess family (Terri's niece and her immediate family), rounding out our group at 19!
Summer 2008 brought a week of perfect weather, including a perfectly placed thunderstorm! We spent our days on the beach and our afternoons in the pool. Each family took turns making themed dinners, complete with signature drinks and specialty desserts. There were several game nights (girls rule, boys drool), a karaoke and limbo contest and we even managed to fit in a movie night during which we consumed a one-gallon bowl of Joe's homemade guacamole.
We spent our last moments together in a big circle, holding hands as we sang happy birthday to Great Grandma who will be turning 90 later this month; thanking God for a great week and finally praying for our safe return home. As always, it was hard saying good-bye to everyone returning to their home states of North Carolina, New York, Pennsylvania and one TBD (Brian and Sam—our resident travelers), but we know for sure that we'll be together again next year. Despite the drive, I can't wait!
Thursday, July 17, 2008 at 02:49PM 
Last week we received Ty’s Progress Report from his preschool, Young Hearts and I was reminded once again why I love this school so much! The report was brief, but in reading it I was reassured of just how much Ty is loved and cared about, and how well they know him. His teachers, Miss Ann Marie and Miss Christa, are genuine, good natured women who have taken the time to get know our sensitive, silly, sweet and extremely energetic child.
Before landing at Young Hearts, we had tried another daycare/preschool in the area and distinctly remember feeling like Ty was just one of many. They were kind enough to him, but when leaving him each morning I remember feeling like I was leaving him with folks who were unfamiliar with my boy. These days I feel more like I’m dropping Ty off with family—I’m not sure there is a better feeling than that for a working mom.
Florie and Wolfgang, the founders of Young Hearts, have created a wonderfully creative and interactive environment for their students. The school itself has the charm of an old-time schoolhouse, but is decorated with modern, colorful décor and state-of-the-art learning aids and appliances.
Wil is due to start at Young Hearts this fall and although I’m not sure what to expect from him; I know that he’ll be in good hands no matter what comes. Miss Danielle will ensure his success and make certain that he feels as loved as his big brother Ty.
