The Bedtime Blues

Just before bed each night Ty has a little crying spell—we call it his bedtime blues. The crying has nothing to do with having to go to sleep, it's more like a tiny bout of depression he goes through as he recounts the things he'll miss from that day.  Most of the time it's Mema that he cries about. He tells us how he misses her and how he simply can't wait all night long to see her again. We remind him of the fun they had that day and that like the promise of the sunrise, she will come again. 

Other nights, Mema is replaced by a fictional character from a movie we've seen that day like E.T. the Extra Terrestrial or Wall-e.  He genuinely cares about the characters in the movies we watch. He wonders if E.T. will get home okay or if he'll come back someday to visit. 

And yet, other nights, his sadness is spent on someone or something new that brought meaning to his day. Tonight it was the fireflies. After we spent an hour in the yard catching the little buggers, it was time to release them back into the summer air. I had wrongly assumed that Ty was aware that we wouldn't keep them forever. His face lost all expression when I exclaimed, "Okay boys—now take the lids off and let 'em go"! As heartbroken as he was he understood. So, with tears streaming down his face he popped off the lid and shook his plastic cup. As each glowing firefly flew into the darkness he asked if they would remember him.

I answered, "How could they forget? They just met the most amazing, sensitive little boy on earth. They'll never forget you, Ty."

Outer Banks Vacation 2008

[See more pictures in the photo gallery.]

We wearily returned home from the Outer Banks of North Carolina at 4:00 this morning.  Even after a nine hour drive—too and from—we were disappointed at the realization that this year's vacation was once again behind us. 

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate this drive (even if I do sleep the entire time while my dutiful husband does all of the work), and yet it's been the highlight of every summer for the past eight years.  I guess you could say that like all vacations: it gives us the opportunity to spend quality time with our children and each other, and simply breathe in the fresh ocean air.  But for anyone who's been lucky enough to share in this week with us, you know that there's a little more to it than just that. 

The week has been described by John's parents as heaven on earth.  And, although I can't tell you exactly why, I think it has something to do with chemistry.  This is a family who, in addition to loving each other, really likes each other.  Starting with the children, who range from three to eight years old, and play together famously; to the the brothers who truly appreciate and respect each other; to the sisters-in-laws who genuinely share a deep and meaningful friendship—there is nothing forced about this family coming together under one roof.  Understandably, my mother and father-in-law take great pride in the way that their children and grandchildren interact and love each other—so much so, that that they give this week to all of us as a Christmas gift year-after-year.  This year, we were joined by the Hess family (Terri's niece and her immediate family), rounding out our group at 19!

Summer 2008 brought a week of perfect weather, including a perfectly placed thunderstorm!  We spent our days on the beach and our afternoons in the pool.  Each family took turns making themed dinners, complete with signature drinks and specialty desserts.  There were several game nights (girls rule, boys drool), a karaoke and limbo contest and we even managed to fit in a movie night during which we consumed a one-gallon bowl of Joe's homemade guacamole. 

We spent our last moments together in a big circle, holding hands as we sang happy birthday to Great Grandma who will be turning 90 later this month; thanking God for a great week and finally praying for our safe return home.  As always, it was hard saying good-bye to everyone returning to their home states of North Carolina, New York, Pennsylvania and one TBD (Brian and Sam—our resident travelers), but we know for sure that we'll be together again next year.  Despite the drive, I can't wait!

2008 Progress Report

Last week we received Ty’s Progress Report from his preschool, Young Hearts and I was reminded once again why I love this school so much!  The report was brief, but in reading it I was reassured of just how much Ty is loved and cared about, and how well they know him. His teachers, Miss Ann Marie and Miss Christa, are genuine, good natured women who have taken the time to get know our sensitive, silly, sweet and extremely energetic child.

Before landing at Young Hearts, we had tried another daycare/preschool in the area and distinctly remember feeling like Ty was just one of many.  They were kind enough to him, but when leaving him each morning I remember feeling like I was leaving him with folks who were unfamiliar with my boy. These days I feel more like I’m dropping Ty off with family—I’m not sure there is a better feeling than that for a working mom.

Florie and Wolfgang, the founders of Young Hearts, have created a wonderfully creative and interactive environment for their students. The school itself has the charm of an old-time schoolhouse, but is decorated with modern, colorful décor and state-of-the-art learning aids and appliances.

Wil is due to start at Young Hearts this fall and although I’m not sure what to expect from him; I know that he’ll be in good hands no matter what comes.  Miss Danielle will ensure his success and make certain that he feels as loved as his big brother Ty. 

Isn't it Ironic?

I recently spent the weekend in Newport, Rhode Island with my good friend, Elena—a standing trip for the past seven years. We love our annual girl's trip because it affords us an escape from the everyday; the ability to refresh and renew our spirits as woman who work hard (me in the office and her at home); the chance to reconnect as friends; and because we value many of the same things in life.  So, isn't it ironic that our great escape included nonstop talk of those we were escaping from?

As we lay on the beach, one after another, we marveled at our children.  Elena (the mother of three) and I (the mother of two) joyfully shared stories and quips about the five amazing kids we left at home with their [equally amazing] Dads.  The whining protests, sibling rivalry and all-around chaos of family life washed out to sea with every crashing wave.  The little rascals of yesterday were suddenly the angels of today—for the life of me, I couldn't remember a single unhappy moment.

I guess that's why we all need breaks; it gives us the opportunity to count our blessings and recharge our souls. I always return to my life a better person after being in Newport with Elena (for whom I also consider a blessing), even if 10-minutes in I'm dreaming of next year's getaway.  Ironic isn't it?

[This is a photo of Ty and Wil showing off their souvenirs from Mommy's trip.]

I Remember That Day Like It Was Yesterday

Maybe it's my artistic eye or that I'm just a sentimental sap, but every time I see a photo like this one, I feel instantly nostalgic.  Although it was only taken a few weeks ago, I can't help but imagine Ty and his buddy, Brendan coming across this photo as adults and having it reignite the flame of a happy childhood.

They probably won't remember that little brother, Wil kept spilling the lemonade (purposely) or that they only had two customers or that the humidity was raging that day, but hopefully they'll remember how the day made them feel.  Two boys against the world...adventurous entrepreneurs!

As parents, we can only hope that when life gets complicated (which it inevitably will), the pictures of their childhood will offer our children the sweet reminder of simpler days.

What Does It Mean To Be Free?

I recently discovered that having kids makes you smarter! They make you think (and often times: rethink) everything! My boys' endless litany of who, what, why, when, where and how inquiries leave me stumped on a daily basis. Not necessarily because I don't know the answer (although that's happened a time or two!), but mainly because the answer I give is molding their first impressions of life. So, with such an important building block at stake, I take seriously every little question. 

This weekend's questions were of course about the Fourth of July celebrations going on all around us. The barrage of inquiries started with "Why are people making fireworks?" and became increasingly more difficult. Finally, Wil asked, "What does it mean to be a free?"

Oh, boy! A concept question—a level 10 on the parent difficulty scale. I needed help, so after checking in with my pal Google, I did my best to explain freedom and why we were celebrating the birthday of our incredible nation. Wil seemed satisfied enough for the time being, so we moved on to ice cream.  After one bite, he asked, "Why is ice cream cold?" 

Hmm...a science question—let's go find Daddy!

Object of His Affection

If you know and love Ty, you know Bobby—his object of affection for the past 4-years. Like most "blankies," Bobby has been put through a lot during Ty's infant and toddler years. Aside from traveling extensively around the tri-state area, he has made every one of our trips to the Outer Banks of North Carolina and he even joined us on our maiden voyage to Disney World this past spring.  He's been peed on, puked on, run over by a car, slobbered on by our dogs, bathed against his will and left outside in the rain overnight. He was even lost a time or two, but I assure you—this really is the original Bobby. No one-two-switcheroo here!

When I think back, it makes me laugh that this odd little blanket won the bid for Ty's unending love. I was given several of these small animal-headed, silk blankets for my baby shower and I thought to myself, what child in their right mind would want this half-doll, half blanket hybrid creature?  So, with little regard I exchanged the five or so I had received to Babies R Us for more practical items (...like a wipes warmer and baby work boots—LOL!).

When Ty was around 3-months, we noticed that he loved the feel of silk. Responding to his every whim, Mema showed up shortly thereafter with this dog blanket. Although I appreciated the sentiment, I was secretly hoping Ty would hate it as much as I did. Much to my chagrin, it was love at first sight!

Now, over 4-years later, when I look at Bobby, I smile. He symbolizes the innocence of childhood. Someday I hope to make a quilt of Ty's most beloved boyhood memories. After all he's been through, Bobby has most certainly earned his place as the center square.  After all, it wouldn't be near as meaningful without his odd little dog head poking through the middle of Ty's childhood quilt.

P.S. The football that Bobby is holding is Bobby Junior, Bobby's Bobby, if you will.  A story for another time...

School Day, Home Day or Gym Day?

Before Ty's eyes are even open each morning he mutters from a sleepy fog, "School day, home day or gym day?.  Although he's not sure which days of the week each activity falls on he knows exactly what that day will bring and more importantly how he feels about it! 

A "home day" is his favorite kind of day.  It means that the weekend is here and that we'll be together as a family.  Home days vary, but generally they are less scheduled and more fun.

A "gym day" falls on Tuesdays and Thursdays—the two days that Daddy is home all day with him and Wil.  The reason Ty calls it a "gym day" is because they start those two days with a quick trip to the gym,  so Daddy can workout.  The remainder of the day is anyone's guess, but usually includes some combination of the park, Dunkin Donuts or McDonalds, yard work, Home Depot, sports, hide n' seek, laundry, visiting and the most important activity of the day: pulling the house back together before Mommy walks in the door from work! 

The third kind of day is a "school day."  And, much to Ty's chagrin, that's exactly what it means; he's off to school.  Although he loves school (especially his teachers), he's already learned that school (even preschool) is something he's supposed to complain about.  So, we let him moan about it as he slips out of bed and drags himself down the hallway.  We know that by the time he hits the couch in the living room for some "wake-up" cartoons, he's over it.  And, reminding him that Mema or Grandma will be picking him up afterwards is our ace in the hole if all else fails!

These photos are from a recent "home day" where the four of us headed off to the Hopewell Rec Park for a picnic (A.K.A. McDonalds Happy Meals) and some jungle gym climbing.  Like Ty, "home days" are my favorite too, but I have to admit: I love that each day during our week brings something different.  It makes our children well-rounded spending their days with different people; doing different things; in different places.  Our schedule allows for the boys to have time away from us, one-on-one time with both John and I, as well as their grandparents, and then of course, time for us to come together as a family, and lots of times, as an extended family.  Our schedule is a well-oiled machine that seems to be working, so full-steam ahead!

The Compassionists

Naturally, everywhere you turn this summer the upcoming presidential election is being discussed.  You read a candidate's name and immediately following you see a list of their “key issues” — a social, economical or environmental passion that they wish to affect. I recently noticed that John and I too (without much campaigning), have each chosen a “key issue” of our own on which to build our parenting platform.  

For John it's all about manners.  He is mostly responsible for our sons being such courteous young men (…at least in public; notice this entry follows “potty talk”!).  And for me, it starts and ends with compassion—compassion for each other; for us; for their family and friends; for people they don't know; and of course for animals—especially our own. Which is why when I caught the boys caring for Jake after his recent hospital stay, it warmed my heart.

Every day, their overflowing love for the world around them grows.  And, although shortly after this photo was taken they had a wrestling match worthy of the WWF, I know they are beginning to understand why compassion is important.  So, if I carry through on my platform promises, I imagine that compassion will become as natural as breathing for my two little constituents.  For now we are blessed that Ty an Wil truly do love each other, and learn by example from the compassion they are shown by those who love them back.  

"Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity.
It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in
his or her search for self-fulfillment."
—Arthur Jersild

Potty Talk

Nothing illicits laughter from my sons like good ol' potty talk.  Which is exactly why it is so hard for me to get mad at them when they get going.  I try to do as Miss Ann Marie and Miss Christa (Ty's preschool teachers) have taught me and ask them to go to the bathroom if they want to talk about potty things, but as you can see from this photo they don't take me all that seriously.  Right now "poopy" is their main expletive, but I'm sure as the begin to network at school they'll find new and more creative ways to express themselves.  I suppose at that point I'll need to get serious about how I react  to their choice of expression, but for now I can't imagine not hearing Wil sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star with every other word replaced by poopy.  Go ahead, try it—betcha laugh!